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Friday, October 27, 2006
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Residency
I've been in denial regarding taking up medicine and being a doctor. I wasn't forced into it but it wasn't what I wanted either (or have I told you this already?). After passing the boards, I felt not just relieved but also proud of myself. But this didn't stop me from getting kind of irked whenever relatives and friends call me doc Jade. As if that was fun. Yeah, I know they're proud of me, but I don't really enjoy all that. What a negative attitude, right? I know. But here's what... for my residency training, I actually feel excited more than distressed. I'm actually optimistic about it. Maybe it's because I'm finally having a focus. I have a goal. And the goal is for myself. It's me pleasing myself and not anybody else. Of course lots of it is influenced by my relationship with Mark. But, again, it boils down to what makes me happy. He makes me happy. The prospect of spending my life with him makes me happy. So finishing Anesthesiology is something that I really look forward to. I may sound so assuming but at least I have something to motivate me for now, that's better than getting depressed again when the race hasn't even started. Except for taking charge of a patient's life-- the scariest part-- the rest of Anesthesiology sounds cool. So even if I know the next three years is going to be hell, I'm keeping up my healthy, up-py mentality.
By jadetv @ 11:08 PM
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